Wednesday, February 13, 2019

the best way to know you're desired

There are curves, turns, steep mountains, low valleys, and big bumps that I never saw coming.

I've been telling Him I'm sorry, that I know He deserves better. This doubt, these wrecks, I'm embarrassed for Him to see. But I've been showing Him anyway. 

He's been staring right at it all and do you know what He's been saying in response to my mess? 
"I love you, Abbie."

Jesus has so much mercy. 

My faithfulness wavers, my weakness shines bright, my questions pile high, I'm messier than I ever thought I'd be, but He continues to want me. The Maker of life, He wants me. 

To be desired: a need deeply designed into every person alive. 
Oh, to be desired. 

A couple months ago, I was in a long line waiting to go through immigration at the airport in Malaysia. The kid in front of me, about 13, was with his mom-a petite blonde with energy and stress, nice to talk to. We were the only foreigners in the line so we had conversation in our shared language. Speaking English is kinda comforting in some places. We talked about her husband's traveling job, how often they move countries, the boy's trouble keeping friends. The line went fast. 

I knew my time with them was coming to an end, so I said a few words about loving Jesus, then asked “Do you have faith? A religion of any kind?”  The blonde mom replied, “We don’t talk about that in our house.” The kid said he wasn’t sure what he believed, and he didn’t know much about Jesus.  Then suddenly, it was their turn to go see the immigration officer. I was out of time. I racked my brain, trying to think of a quick way I could direct the boy to the Gospel, maybe a link to a Gospel video or something. I was blank. 

My history with Jesus, the mercy He keeps wooing me with, it couldn't be expressed in my last few seconds with them. What could I do?

In-love God wants the 13 year-old kid from the immigration line, his stressed mom, the nations, and me and you, to be in a forever-long love relationship with Him. He desires us.

The deep need to be desired felt by all of us, it can be met to an extent by people. But only to an extent. Family, friends, lovers, it's satisfying when they desire us, but the need is deeper than they can fully meet. 

There aren't conditions to God's desiring us.  When we're weak and questioning Him, when we're strong and pursuing Him, His desire for us goes unchanged. And it reaches deep. What a comfort. 

It’s the greatest Story ever told. When believed and embraced, the Main Character of the Story, the God who became a Man, comes into our beings with His Spirit and changes us, changes our days, changes our eternities. To fill us with love. To marry us. That’s His aim.

"I'll put together a video with an easy link, then be able to direct people to the Gospel!" I thought to myself as the immigration officer stamped my flimsy blue passport and the mom and boy disappeared into the airport. 

Confused, messy, but in love with God, I've been sitting in my room putting together clips sent by my friends from Mexico, the Netherlands, India, South Africa, and several places in between. Together, in this film, we tell the Gospel in 4 minutes and 30 seconds so the 13 year-old boys in Thailand can watch. And so anyone else can, too. God wants us to know Him. 

 Watch it. Share it. Show it to your friends. Show it to strangers. Jesus is in love. 

Happy Valentine’s Day, friends. You’re desired. 

God is love.
-1 John 4:8

p.s. the "easy" part to the link is coming with a website update in the next few weeks.