Monday, March 4, 2013

disappointment the size of montana.

people are so awesome at disappointing me. 
disappointment may be what mankind is best at. 

i've never been to montana, 
but i imagine this is what it's like;
kinda normal and kinda the same as all the other states. 
if i'm not careful, this is how i get to feeling about all the people of planet earth i've never met.
i think,
"they're probably as un-exciting and rude as all the other people i've met up to this point."
my attitude is smelling so bad i need to hold my nose. 
i'm about to stink myself out of the room. 

clearly, this isn't a 
God-of-the-Bible sort of attitude, 
and i very much love and want to be like the God of the Bible. 

the past few weeks people
 have really bummed me out. 
i'm typically what you might call a 
"people-lover," but geeze louise, no matter how much you love people, they're going to throw you some major blows sometimes. 

they're selfish, they're hateful, they're flaky, they're manipulative, 
and on and on down the trash can. 
what's even worse, i'm the same. 
i disappoint myself worse than the jerkiest of jerks.  
i wish i could get out of the
 "people who disappoint"
 category, but i just can't. 
it's our nature. (sin)
if you and i have any sort of relationship, i can almost guarantee I've disappointed you to some degree at some point.
i'm a person. 
it's what we do. 

i tend to invest a lot of trust into people. 
what a terrible idea. 
you know what we were made to do with our trust?
invest it into the God of the Bible. 
when i have sessions of great disappointment 
like i'm currently having, 
i find relief in my tired,
 disappointed heart by; 
1)asking God to forgive me for trusting man instead of trusting Him
2)vent to God about my hurt
3)ask God to heal my hurt
4)ask God to help the disappoint-er to become a lot more like God
5)think (for long periods of time) about God's goodness and His nature that does not disappoint

 the fact is, 
there is just One who doesn't disappoint. 
your momma, your honey, your boss, your preacher, your kid, 
they're all loaded with an 
awesome-at-disappointing nature. 
so don't put your trust in them, 
put it in the One who can be trusted. 
(there's really just One) 

love them, by all means love them, and all people for that matter, 
but don't invest the trust of your heart into man. 
invest it into the good One, the honest One, the selfless One. 

 “God is not a man, that He should lie, nor a son of man, that He should repent. Has He said, and will He not do? Or has He spoken, and will He not make it good?” 

I went on a walk today and a herd of chickens & peacocks chased me. 
they thought i was going to feed them, 
but like i said, i'm great at disappointing.