Sunday, February 27, 2011

for the unsure moments.

The current stage of my life is what I'm calling "the-who-on-earth-knows-what-i'm-supposed-to-be-doing-right-now" stage.

Since getting back from India, I've been unsure of what to fill my days with.

1. we moved out of our temporary LilyWhite store.
2. my job at the newspaper has become very, very part-time.
3. sewing for LilyWhite is only a part-time endeavor.
4. the biggest reason of all, after seeing things in India that I'm certain God wanted me to see, like Christians living completely wrapped up in the Gospel and incredible needs that people have, my life here seems to small & insignificant.

So. I'm left with days that are almost completely free of any "real" responsibility, like a 9 to 5. I'm certain that God has the next stage of my life planned, I'm just not sure what it is.

Thankfully, there are a couple things I AM sure of, one being I want to do everything I can to spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ. If that means getting a full-time job to support native missionaries, or moving to India, or working at a church, or working in a homeless shelter, or doing exactly what I've been doing, then my answer to God is "yes."

Until I know what He wants me to do next, I'm spending a lot of time praying, reading, hanging out with teenage girls, working a few hours a week to earn some income, going to a lot of Eddie James services, and waiting.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths. -Proverbs 3:5-6

But those who wait on the Lord will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles...
-Isaiah 40:31

p.s. Another part-time endeavor I've recently engaged in is being a ministry assistant to Leigh Gray, the founder of speakingthrume ministries. We're leaving for SICILY this week. (!) She's teaching at a women's retreat, and she's taking me along to be her bodyguard.